CMHT Assessment and Possibly Some More Help?

This post follows on from Another Crisis and an Urgent CMHT Referral

(TW: Mentions of Overdose and Suicidal thoughts)

The past couple of weeks have really dragged and it's taken a lot of distractions and talking to friends to stop me from looking for my medication. I've tried, I've struggled, but I managed to keep myself busy (mostly with gaming). Unfortunately, I've found it hard to focus on anything but ODing.

I finally had my assessment on Monday. I was nervous, but had written down some notes and knew what I wanted to say. I arrived 15 minutes early (as the letter said to) but, due to the CPN being busy with another patient, I wasn't seen until 15 minutes after my appointment time. I was really agitated at this point, but apart from ringing CMHT again to see if I'd be seen soon, I bit my lip.

The CPN I saw was the same one I saw last time I had an assessment. Luckily, she had a lot of my details, so we mainly focused on how I'd been feeling and what had been happening recently. She still asked me a fair amount of questions, however. These included questions about the overdose , whether I was suicidal, how my appetite, personal hygiene, concentration levels etc have been. We also discussed the medication I was on right now, whether I'd had a review of them, and if I'd had a blood test recently. I was exhausted by the end! One thing I noticed was that the CPN wrote a few notes and mentioned it a few times when I said that my parents have been looking after my medication. I thought this might go in my favour when it comes to deciding if I should get extra help from CMHT.

We also spoke about the things going on in my life right now, and possible things that have triggered my mood swings and depression. There were a couple of things I mentioned, which were the stresses with planning to move house with a friend, and my nan's declining health.

Nan has been showing more and more signs of Alzheimers/Dementia. She is starting to become verbally aggressive and more confused over quite simple things. It's making it very difficult to have a conversation with her or explain anything to her, as she cannot process it properly and tends to shout over us. Since the CMHT assessment, Nan has had a cognitive assessment which she only just passed. There's no diagnosis yet, but the GP is very concerned and wants to keep an eye on her.

As for moving house, as I'm not stable or safe at the moment (I'm still constantly thinking about overdosing) I have decided not to move just yet. I felt so guilty about telling my friend, and he's not happy with me at all, but I had to make this decision and put my own health first.

Soon after this, the CMHT assessment came to a close. The CPN made sure we'd covered everything then told me what she wanted to happen. She wants me to have a blood test, to rule out any physical causes for my mood changes etc. She also wants me to have a medication review and some more Self Compassion therapy. She is having a meeting about me today, where she will suggest this and hopefully she will contact me later to let me know what has been decided.