Not a huge amount has happened recently. If I'm honest, I've felt a bit ignored by doctors, therapists etc.
In a way, I've preferred not having therapy at the moment. For many reasons I suppose. Sometimes it's because I've felt able to try and do things on my own. I felt as if things were do-able. Other times, I've not felt ready to go back into therapy. I suppose I've wanted to be left alone (which is strange; considering how hard I've tried to get more support!)
Maybe I worry too much will be expected of me? I'm trying to do things at my own pace, and accept that it's going to take a while. Even on days where I'm feeling more able to go out of the house on my own (for example), my physical health vastly limits what I can do. It feels like a balancing act.
(TW meds & self harm) I'm now on 150mg Sertraline a day, and it seems to be the right level for me right now. I'm having less crises, and even have days where I don't feel strongly suicidal! What I am doing more of though is self harming. It took me a while to realise that it is a form of self harm. I don't want to go into details about it. I tend to do it for different reasons, and I think that it has become a compulsion as well. I've been trying to find distractions, even buying one of those fidget toys on Amazon, but once I start, it is extremely difficult to stop.
It's been 3 months since I was sent a referral letter for physiotherapy. My original post about the Orthopaedic assessment is here . The letter told me to ring a number, and give my name, hospital number, and any dates I'd be unavailable for an appointment. So I rang. The automated message told me to press 1 to book an appointment. I did so, and was told to leave a message with the details they required.
I finally got up the courage to ring the hospital to ask why I hadn't heard anything yet. It turned out, that they hadn't got the message, and I was supposed to wait to speak to a receptionist to book the appointment! I wish this had been stated more clearly in the letter. I also wish they'd sort the damn phone system out! I find it difficult enough to use phones (because brain fog & anxiety). I'd been discharged because they hadn't heard anything from me. I was told to get in touch with my GP, and get re-referred. I said thank you, and hung up.
After the phone call, of course I became panicky. I've been needing physiotherapy for so long, and it seemed to be so hard to obtain an appointment! Mum rang the GP surgery for me, and passed the phone over when she got through to my GP's secretary. I was still panicky and confused, but I had to take the call. Thankfully, the secretary was lovely! I explained my situation, worried that I wouldn't make any sense, but the secretary understood & got it sorted for me. She warned it would be a long waiting list though.
I was expecting another few months wait, but I had a hospital letter come today, with an appointment for the start of November! There must've been a cancellation. The physio place is close to my house, so I should be ok getting there. I've been to that place for blood tests too, so know my way around.
My next post will probably be about my first physiotherapy session. In the meantime, thank you for reading :)