It's just coming up to 5am and sleep is not happening right now. I should be resting after today, but I've been so fed up of lying around, trying to force myself to sleep, I felt I had to do something. So you're getting a blog post's worth of ranting. Lucky lucky you.
I've been having trouble sleeping for a while now, and it's only got worse. I suppose it's a mixture of physical and mental stuff. I really need a new bed as the springs in this one dig into my back and it's pretty much broken anyway. I think I mentioned this in my last post, but my doctor gave me Zopiclone to try. I find it gives me slightly deeper sleep but it takes hours and hours to kick in so I never end up with an earlier sleep. I couldn't even imagine coping with this whilst working a 9 to 5 job. I don't know how anyone with insomnia manages but I suppose we all push ourselves too far no matter what.
I still get my weird vision things; although atos doesn't seem to believe me. Right now, as I'm writing this post, I'm having weird lines in front of my eyes and big flashing lights. I'm trying hard to focus on the words on the screen because they seem to merge into each other. I also feel as if I'm burning up. With the vision stuff, you'd think this was possibly a migraine coming on, but I've not got a massive headache with it, only a slight one (which I can deal with). This seems to happen nearly every night. But according to atos I have no vision problems, all because I managed to read a few letters (as in letters of the alphabet) on a screen. My vision goes in and out of focus so if I wait for it to go into focus, of course I can read the letters!
It's probably this lack of sleep that is making my lack of concentration more apparent too. Because I barely ever go out and see friends, I'm really trying to stay in touch with them over the internet. I feel bad when I can't cope with a long conversation and have to step away from it for a while. I want to be there for them as much as they have been for me.
Ok, I'll leave it there and try to sleep again. Hopefully the next post will be a better one!