Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Busy Weekend!/Pushing Myself/Amitriptyline

Hey guys,

Sorry I've been a bit quiet. There's not been a lot to report really! I thought I'd just do a quick update before I go up to bed.

Last Monday (the 4th?) I was supposed to go and get my hair cut. Nothing fancy, just a 5 or 10 min walk to the hairdressers for a good trim. Long story short, I got far too anxious about walking there by myself and ended up feeling too ill to go so I had to cancel. That really got me down because it was my chance to sort of gain control of this illness and just push through my anxieties. In hindsight, both I and my partner agree it was too much too soon. I rebooked the appointment for one of his days off, the Friday. We did it so he would drop me off at the hairdressers and I would walk back if I felt up to it. Although quite achy, dizzy and exhausted I did manage to walk back and having a much nicer hair-do gave me a little bit of confidence back.

My partner's dad had his wedding last Saturday and I was invited to the ceremony, meal and do. It's been a while since I've been out for the whole day! Leading up to it I was pretty nervous about how I'd feel. I always like to know how long certain things will last so I know how long until I can go to a toilet. The more I think about the possibility of needing the loo, the more likely I am to need it. I think this amitriptyline is helping calm my bladder a bit though.

The day went really well! I felt good getting all dressed up with my hair cut and dyed (dyed it myself). I had a dress I had impulse bought a couple of years ago and never worn. It was a lovely maxi dress with a peacock pattern on it. I had my highest heels on as well! Knew I'd regret it by the end of the night but I wanted to make the effort. I could have a rest day the next day anyway.The ceremony was only about 20 mins tops so I was fine, didn't need it during plus I was too distracted by how sweet the bride and groom looked together.  I do love weddings haha.

The meal was lovely! I had chicken parfait for starters, roast beef with all the trimmings for main then profiteroles with lots of chocolate sauce for pudding. Very full! By this time the aches, pains, dizziness, exhaustion etc were really kicking in but I was glad I'd made it up until then not feeling too bad. After all the speeches were done we had lots of time to just sit, relax, have a few drinks (and cake!) and wait for the evening do. My partner was lovely, making sure I was ok and I got chatting to more of the relatives from both sides. I love how welcoming my partner's family are. They really treat me like part of the family and some of them know about me being ill so take that into consideration :)

Well I really pushed myself at the do, got involved with the dancing and made sure I sat down when I needed to. It was so nice to have a 'good' day as I've had so many 'bad' ones recently.

I had to do some cleaning and packing yesterday and today which has just about finished me off and I'm very achy and knackered now. I feel so exhausted it's almost as if I'm listening to myself speak instead of feeling fully in control of speaking? I can't find a better way to describe it really.

Ok so I'm moving tomorrow (sad times) and I 'think' everything's done for then. My partner's also been extra lovely to me today too. We had fajitas (my favourite!) and bought some extra snacks, treats and drinks. I will be giving my cat lots of cuddles before I go too.

Ooh on another note re: my medication. I was on the phone to my mum the other day, talking about amitriptyline (I'm thinking of upping my dose to 2 a day as it doesn't seem to be helping the pain at all) and she said that she was told that it's an old treatment for Fibromyalgia? Now my doctor said it was quite a new development in use for fibro so I'm a bit confused here. I'm guessing my mum has talked to either a doctor friend or a fibro sufferer but I'm wondering what my readers think? Obviously I'm not going to stop my use until told otherwise by my next doc but I'd definitely like to know more information about treatments for fibro in particular.

Right, must get into bed. I will update again soon; which will probably be to do with finances/doctors so maybe not so positive! Thanks for reading :)

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