Going Abroad with Chronic Physical and Mental Illnesses

Last month, I went on holiday to Gran Canaria, with my parents. As a person with multiple mental health, physical health, and mobility problems, the thought of travelling abroad can be quite daunting and nerve wracking. Will I remember everything I need to pack? How would I be able to get across a large airport, when I can't walk far at the best of times? How will I keep myself calm? Will there be toilets available nearby? How can I plan my holiday to make sure I'm not overdoing it every day? These were just a few worries that I had. Below, I explain how I eased or solved these problems.

Packing:

About a week before I was set to go, I made lists of things to pack. I wanted to ensure I would be able to keep as cool and comfortable as possible.

• I picked clothes that could mostly be slipped on, with no fiddly fastenings to deal with.
• I made sure I packed extra medication (including extra pain medication) so that I definitely had enough for the holiday.
• To keep myself cool (as well as for easily removing makeup!), I packed a full pack of face wipes. 
• I packed travel size bottles of shampoo, shower gel, moisturiser etc. These are useful for keeping the luggage weight below the allowance, but also are easier on achy arms. There will be days where washing/showering is a struggle, so light products are helpful.
• Dry shampoo! I usually try to shower every other day, but sometimes I have to miss a few days, so dry shampoo is absolutely wonderful for ensuring my hair stays relatively fresh and clean.

At the Airport:

There are various things to consider, when at the airport, especially when you are chronically ill (physically or mentally). 

• It is important to book special assistance at least 48 hours before you are due to travel. 
• As soon as you arrive at the airport, find OCS for special assistance. They can help with getting across the airport and through security, as well as boarding the plane and even getting you to your seat (using an aisle wheelchair) if needs be. You can use your own wheelchair, if you have one, or one will be provided for you. There may also be mobility scooters available if you'd prefer to use those. I flew from Birmingham airport and found OCS opposite the Spar shop in departures. Make sure you have your passport and boarding ticket to hand, to show when asked. 
• This link will give you more information about special assistance at Birmingham Airport specifically. For any other airports, there should be information about disabled facilities and special assistance on their website.

On the Plane:

• Ask for assistance, if you need help with putting your hand luggage in the overhead locker. Airline staff are there to help!
• I find it's helpful to have anything you need for the flight to hand (maybe in a handbag if it fits) so that you won't need to get to the overhead locker and search for your bag amongst the others.

Arriving at your destination's airport:

• It's likely that passengers will need to alight the plane via the stairs (unless you're lucky and a tunnel is ready!) An ambilift will be available, however, for passengers needing special assistance.
• You will need to wait until everyone (not needing special assistance) has left the plane, before assistance and the ambilift will be available. This may take a little while, so it's best to remain seated until you see special assistance staff.
• If you have checked in your own wheelchair, it may be the case that it will arrive on a different carousel to your suitcase/s. At Las Palma Airport, the wheelchair arrived on the last carousel to the right. We weren't made aware of this beforehand, so had a bit of a panic before a member of staff advised us!

Transfers from the airport to your destination.

• Coaches can be a nightmare to get onto; with large steps and rarely any toilets. The amount of stops they make can increase the journey time by a lot as well. I would suggest booking a taxi. It pretty much halves the journey time!

At your destination

• I know it's tempting to plan to do a lot on holiday (especially if there's lots to do/explore!) but consider what makes you flare up. As you would at home (when having plans for days/nights out), rest up as much as you can, before doing anything potentially flare-inducing. Most hotels have areas near reception where you can relax, so keep that in mind if the cleaner needs to access your room. 

Are there any other tips you would give for fellow spoonies? Comment below!

Resources

https://www.birminghamairport.co.uk/at-the-airport/terminal-facilities/special-assistance/

My Socially Anxious Mind

"Oh no, I have to walk through a crowd of people. Act normal!

Am I avoiding eye contact too much? I'm sure I am. Just look at people so they don't think you're being weird.

No! You looked too long. Now people will think you're staring at them!

Am I walking weirdly? How about my posture? Am I walking too fast or too slow?

What if I get in their way? What if I try too hard and look like I'm avoiding them?

Do they think I dress weirdly? Is my makeup smudged? Does my hair look unruly?

My breathing's getting faster, I'm sure I'm sweating. I'm sure I look really nervous and suspicious. What if I'm acting suspiciously? Can they tell I'm panicking? Why can't I just cope with this?!

Oh god, I'm sure they can tell I'm panicking. Just. Act. Normal!"

"Not really disabled"

The other day, George Freeman (Theresa May's Policy Chief) gave some very insulting and trivialising comments about anxiety disorders. You'll find the details in this article . It seems he believes that those with anxiety disorders are "not really disabled". Apparently all we do is sit at home; taking pills.

After a lot of (very much deserved!) criticism, he responded with a feeble non-apology; where he expressed "regret" that people were offended. Now I do understand that he has had an anxiety disorder in the past & I would never invalidate his experience of that. I do think, however, he needs to educate himself on various anxiety disorders. He may then learn that the symptoms can vary in severity, are complex, and can be very debilitating.

Disability is officially defined in the Equality Act 2010 as this:

"A person (P) has a disability if-

(a) P has a physical or mental impairment, and
(b) the impairment has a substantial and long-term adverse effect on P's ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities."

I cannot speak for everyone with an anxiety disorder/s, but here are the ones that I have and how they affect me.

Agoraphobia

I get very anxious about leaving the house; especially if there are people outside. To travel anywhere, I rely on my dad driving me. I get far too anxious to take public transport, and can't even take a taxi on my own. I can't manage group situations where I have to stay in the room/it'd be considered rude to leave suddenly (such as a class or meeting) and have to be near the toilet or exit if I'm in a restaurant/cafe etc.

Last time I managed to take a train by myself (years ago), I had panic attacks and had to wait for a later train than the one I'd planned to take. I felt very nauseous, dizzy, shaky and sweaty for the entire journey. Once I arrived at my destination, I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I found it very hard to focus, and when I had to change trains, I ended up lost for an hour and almost in tears at the train station. It's a good job the friend I was meeting was a patient one! In order to get home, I had to get my dad to pick me up (the journey takes over an hour by car).

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

I've had OCD since childhood, and have tried hard to hide my compulsions. On a bad day, it stops me from leaving the house. It makes me irritable, snappy, and has caused arguments in the past. I take much longer to do things than I should, and am often late for appointments because I've had to complete compulsions, or repeat them until I am "reassured" enough to leave the house. This condition makes me feel trapped and, when I did work, it caused me to miss meetings and compromised my performance at work.


Generalised Anxiety Disorder

I don't react well to changes in plans. I need to know what to expect, Usually, my anxiety flares up in response to things, but I do find that I can randomly panic and not know what has set it off. I get panicky about hypothetical situations, and cannot just wait to deal with a certain situation when it occurs. I tend to think 10 steps ahead of myself, and think of the worst case scenario. I will dwell on potential problems; even more so if I cannot think of a solution.

I find I get very paranoid as well, and I worry a lot about people's opinions of me. I worry about losing friends and look for cues that they may be annoyed at me or drifting away. I also am constantly asking for reassurance.

Phone Phobia

Recently, my phobia of this has lessened and I can now cope with making some phone calls. I still find that I get very nervous when receiving phone calls though, and most of the time I will leave it to go to voicemail. I worry about not knowing the answers to questions I may be asked on the phone. I also worry about not having details like reference numbers ready when needed. I often mishear things and get very anxious (panicky even) if I have to keep asking the other person to repeat themselves. When I worked, I had customers react angrily over the phone because of this. I would avoid answering the phone in the workplace, and have been told off by my manager. I think this contributed to decisions not to carry on my temporary contract too.

I cannot think of a job where you are not expected to use a phone, leave the house, go to meetings, cope with changes, be punctual, have good attendance or be timely with tasks. Even without my other mental health and physical health problems, I highly doubt I could manage work of any kind.

So yes, George Freeman, I may sit at home and take pills but there's so much more to anxiety than that, and yes I am "really disabled".

    

Spinning Plates

I was trying to think of a half-decent title for this blog post, and "Spinning Plates" was all that really came to mind. I needed a title that described how I felt when it came to dealing with physical health problems, as well as mental health problems. I've mentioned my diagnoses before, but I'll state them here and hopefully I can explain how managing these conditions feels a lot like "spinning plates".

Fibromyalgia: I've had this since 2010 and sometimes I feel I've accepted it, sometimes I get extremely frustrated, upset, and angry at how much it limits what I can do/how often I can do it. I'm so used to pushing myself that I find it very hard to stop and pace before I cause my symptoms to flare up. Sometimes I deliberately go too far, because I find physical pain a little easier to cope with than mental pain. When I do pace, the internalised ableism kicks in, and I feel as if I'm being lazy, not making the most of the day etc. I know that pacing myself is a good thing to do, and resting is still productive as it means I am looking after myself. I just wish I could feel less guilty about it!

Hypermobility Syndrome: I'm not entirely sure when it became Joint Hypermobility Syndrome, but I know I've been hypermobile all my life. As I learn more about it, I realise how mindful I have to be when it comes to using my joints. I have multiple subluxations every day, and sometimes I have dislocations too. Having doctors finally believe me (after a physio actually seeing and hearing a joint dislocate!) has helped a little, but doesn't take away the frustration with working around limitations and not getting much support for it.

Depression: Looking after yourself is so so important anyway, let alone when you are dealing with multiple illnesses & disabilities! I really do try, but Depression zaps my energy (what's left of it, thanks to Fibro and JHS anyway!). I struggle with motivation as well. Emotionally, the most basic sounding tasks can feel like trying to climb a mountain. On my bad depression days, I barely do a thing, and then I hate myself for being "lazy". If it isn't too bad on particular days, but my physical health problems are, I then get frustrated with myself for physically not being able to do things that might help my mood a little (e.g. making a nice snack, doing some cross stitch, meeting a friend).

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: When anxiety gets severe, it can limit you so much. I could be having a day with slightly less physical pain, or even less fatigue. On this day, I may want to make the most of this by maybe having a walk, or at least getting out of the house (even if just into the garden). Anxiety can have a real hold on me however, and often it becomes a panic attack (which then makes the physical pain, fatigue etc worse!). As much as I want to be able to do stuff, I just can't. It's as if invisible arms are squeezing me tightly, the room has become unbearably hot, my head is pounding, the room is spinning, and I can't focus on anything else. I know these things are down to anxiety and panic, and that they will lessen in time, but it does not stop me from feeling them so intensely.

Agoraphobia: The symptoms I get with Agoraphobia are very much the same as with GAD, but they are of course more about situations (such as being out of the house, being in a busy place, not being able to get out of somewhere quickly or easily). If it is quiet, having a short walk can help lessen my depressive symptoms temporarily. I want to be able to do this as much as my health allows, but the agoraphobia holds me back. Even if I manage to force myself outside, if it is bad enough, I will not feel better. I will spend the whole time on the edge of a panic attack and that will be my energy gone for the day.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: This can affect my ability to get out of the house and cope with daily things. The meds I'm on do help calm down my OCD related anxiety a little, but on a bad day I could struggle just as much as I did before I was on the meds. Again, this holds me back and stops me from being able to make the most of low pain/fatigue days.

I hope this makes sense. There's a lot of similarities with each condition, and of course I know that mental health and physical health often overlap. For me, it feels as if they clash too! I'm trying to manage my struggles with things like anxiety with going outside and guilt from not going outside, when it occurs on a day my physical symptoms aren't too bad. On the less anxious days, I want to do more to help myself, but physical symptoms limit how much I can help myself on bad physical health days!

I guess it's about moderation and, yes, Pacing. If anyone has any tips on getting that balance right, or even if you don't and you need to vent to someone who understands, leave a comment below!

Thank you for reading.